Different shades of you
Dark red and orange blue;
When my fear cannot be contained
I turn to you.
You listen and perhaps nod
but you never answer
and I am left curling up with cold
and shame in my unwashed sheets.
You define the very lines of my expression
and when I seek you to unveil their meaning
you disappear.
Every vivacious realm of my surroundings
becomes dull and I twist and turn
in my unwanted dreams
screaming in my ever awake nights.
Put me to sleep please; a prayer,
a drug, perhaps a notion of suicide
could become a righteous path.
Oh, how I stumble upon all else
but the chosen variations of you.
So I beg of you to let me live
or to let me die
because I cannot fulfill their needs
and their wishes of me.
Oh how you know so!
One or the other, I will meet
the different shades of you
and you know that too.
11th June 2011
